The Three Musketeers

Whats in my bag or wallet?

I think ill leave this one for a vlog. And then tag it in as Day 9 (:

Goals

5 Current Goals

1. Be a successful actress

2. Gain more self confidence

3. Exercise somewhat every day

4. Travel Europe

5. Do more of what makes me happy

Day 7 5 Favorite Songs

Finally up to date. WOW I've done a whole week of this.
But now I'm truly stumped. I listen to so much music and so many different genres. I put it on shuffle because I don't want to choose what song to listen too. I don't have any favorites that I put on repeat at the moment.

If I had to choose, gosh its so darn hard.

1. The dance is over - Ben Cocks

2. Runnin - MGK

3. Back to Black - Beyonce Feat Andrew 3000

4. Pretty much the Great Gatsby soundtrack

5.Chris brown -2012

Day 6 - What are you afraid of

Simple. Abandonment and being replaced.

I used to be afraid of someone seeing the real me, all the bad ugly things that I try to hide. I didn't like being so vulnerable and exposed. Now, its just the people that mean most to me, leaving as they always do. May not be their fault or mine but it happens one way or another because that is how life handed it to me.

I hate being the second choice. The one people go to when all else fails that is why I have trust issues. I always think, how long is this going to last, will this one stay, why do they seem to like me so much something is going to happen, I'm going to ruin this I can feel it.

But that may just be me.

Day 5 Proudest Moment

I'm not going to lie, I struggled a lot with this one. It shouldn't really be that hard but I did. I had the page open all day at work and I couldn't think of anything. Why? Cause I thought what was worthy as being deemed my 'proudest' moment.

So I asked my boyfriend. I asked him if he knew what his proudest moment was and he told me. I said the above to him and he is like 'aren't you proud that you scored this role in the play and you are following your dreams'.

I think its the fact that I don't have favorites, I know its odd. But I don't, I just couldn't choose one.

So all great things come in threes:

1. Finally getting the courage and following my dreams. Not taking no for an answer, booking a role and running with it. Acing that audition.

2. Picking myself up after a bad break up and getting my ass into gear. Got fit, got healthy - mind and body. Gained so much self value.

3. Last night. Although I've been with him for 7 months, known him for 2 years, I hadn't opened up to him much or anyone for that matter and I did last night. It was hard to but it was worth it, have someone else know your secrets that eat you alive every day. He got to see the real me and I was proud of myself for that.

There did it (:

GIRLS ONLY: STRUGGLE STREET

Dream Job

My dream job has always been acting. If I could act full time that would be my dream job either it be stage or film, although film and tv is where my heart is at. Although both experiences are quite different and you learn a lot from both.

I've been acting since I was in year 7 but then again since I was a kid I was putting on all of these different characters and loved impersonating TV or Film characters. I have always wanted to pursue it but due to some people not approving it I tried finding other avenues to go through. Everything I've done since I've become bored of or it is a phase and my passion keeps going back to acting. So you know what I am pursuing my day every day and I will get there.

Watch me (:

My favorite quote

I don't have any favorites, as you all know since I stated it in Facts about me. Previous post.

But the one on this site that I used, is a great motto to go by:

Do What Makes You Happy

Be With Who Makes You Happy

Laugh As Much As You Breathe

Love As Long As You Live

Yeah let's go with that. (:

20 Facts about me

1. Always make a mess when I eat
2. Trip whenever, even if it isnt deemed necessary
3. Have no favorites
4. Am 154cm or 5.1 feet tall
5. Social Media nerd
6. Fabricated stories when I was a child. Apparently was a princess and owned a thoroughbred horse named Chestnut.
7. Hate pulp with a passion
8. Can play guitar
9. Can sing
10. I am an actor
11. I paint, but have only one of my paintings as everyone else have wanted me to painted for them.
12. Twix and Maltesers are my main men.
13. Running is a passion
14. Exploring is a must
15. Am allergic to nuts
16. Can not keep a plant alive if my life depended on it
17. Name all her inanimate objects
18. Am obsessed with beanies and gum.
19. I am always cold.
20. Favorite memories have been with one guy...oh I must have favorites then. I fabricated that part ;)

1. My blogs name

Welcome to my challenge! 30 days of blogging haha.
I don't usually blog on the weekends but hey, one can change. SO

Today is what is my blog name and I'm guessing the point of it is to say why I've called it '365 Days of Summer'.

Well I was going through a rough time and I made this blog to be something positive, every day I had to write something good or positive that happened. Then I'd have a whole years worth because even though you may be having a bad day, there must be something you did or had or realised that you'd be grateful for.

So I guess thats it. Wow that was easy.

I'm also trying out some characterisation today - a British boarding school girl.

Lets see how I go.

Love as much as you breathe xx

Today is the first day in a while where my  motivation is right on peak. AND ITS A FRIDAY. Like what??

I like this feeling, able to do all my work and get things done and not feel like I've wasted the company's time, money or my day. It really started last night at 6 pm when I got home, put a load of washing on, took a shower, got dinner prepped, hung the washing up, went to singing, put another load of washing on, made dinner, ate dinner, made two batches of brownies, made mum's birthday card...Happy Birthday Mum..and watched a movie and got to bed at 11.30pm. I went to bed feeling accomplished and clean. That's always good!

This morning I woke up, I got ready, my boyfriend (whatever you want to call him) called me and I went on the train with a new book in hand and we talked the whole morning. It put me in a pretty good mood. Oh and its casual Friday so I'm feeling comfortable. I started doing my work consistently without much distraction, went to the gym with a friend for half an hour. My 'boyfriend' called me again and we talked and joked around and now I have done most of my afternoon duties and I have two and a half hours to go.

Let's hope time goes fast as it is going now. Makes the work day more bearable.

Also its very much like Spring out, even though we still have a month of winter, the sky is brighter and lighter in the mornings too. Today feels good and I'm hoping nothing happens to that.

Also tomorrow I'm starting a 30 day challenge on this blog so we shall see how that goes, and Ill do those plus whatever I feel like (: Stay tuned!

Love as much as you breathe xx

For Poppy's sake!

I cried last night. I just broke down and cried. Was it from the heaviness I felt all day? The one I was pushing away? The one I couldn't explain? I'm not too sure. But somebody close to me got off the phone with me that night and I could feel his weight on his shoulders and then I realised maybe I was feeling what he felt. Its happened often. But that is besides the point.

I hung up. I broke. The dog looked at me with curiosity. And just like that the dog jumped into action and came up and started licking me and hugging me. How did she know? I haven't grown up with dogs, I was actually quite annoyed at this dog an hour before but her loyalty is beyond any human I know. She didn't care that I yelled at her, she just cared that I was hurt.

Then there was a point in time during the licking and hugging that I got up and realised this has got to stop. Whatever this is. That enough is enough and I don't like feeling like this so I have to change something.

A lot of you may not understand why I put on different characters. But its not exactly like I'm not being myself. Each character is me, just a different facet and I change into the one that I want to be and feel I need to be the most at that current point in time. It gives me confidence. That's what I need. The character I am now is Poppy. She is a British boarding school girl that is confident in herself, treats her body with respect and values herself. That used to be me, where she went I don't know but I'm hoping this will help me bring her back.

You can cry all you want, complain about your life but nothing will change if you don't help it along. I realised in that moment when I took a stand that I only have myself too look out for myself, if that makes sense, sure your friends will help and if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend they will be your rock but honestly it is not fair on them. In the end all you have is yourself because that will be the only solid foundation you have, you are stuck with them - they can't leave. So my advice, if you choose to take it, make peace with yourself, understand your worth and grow stronger. You may be human but your mind is an amazing thing and no matter how worthless you feel or it makes you feel, you are in control of it. Bite the dog on the ear! Show who is boss!

Love as much as you breathe xx

An explanation

I want to cry
I want to scream
I want to shout it all out
I want to wallow
I want to be alone
but I want to be loved no doubt

I want to be hugged
Tightly and surely
I want the pieces to keep together
I want to be told it will all be okay
but...
I want to run
run away from them all
keep running till road turns to earth
and its just me and the world

I want to push
I want to hide
I dont want them around
I don't want their pity
But when I'm gone
I want them to search
I want to be found

I want to matter
I want anonymity
I want them to stay
and never leave
like the rest
I will test.
I want to be cruel
I want to hate
I want to punch, kick and then lay
Lay and not feel
I want to not feel.

This is me
Emotions wild and free
I'm scatterbrained
Trust this is not feigned
Its not a cry for attention
But a cry for help
Which I will not take for the life of me.

What do I want
All of the above
Doesn't make sense?
Welcome to my place.
Roaming and going nowhere
all at the same time.

I want the tears to fall
till my throat is hoarse
I want to rip inside and out
Till there is nothing more
but the skeleton
of a girl
who felt too much
and wanted to feel nothing at all.



This is a poem I just wrote about, just right now, at work where I'm trying to break and where I felt like everything in my head was going to explode into a million pieces and the people that I want the most aren't here to help me pick them up. But then again I don't want to talk to anyone, I feel like nobody will understand this, when I'm 'ill' they just see quiet, meek me, they don't see the war underneath. I want to tell those people closest to me some days, but its too hard to explain. This blog is supposed to be about happiness, but reality is you aren't going to have 365 days of happiness. Like me you are going to have your good days, your bad days and the days where you just can't breathe, where things feel a little odd. I write, thats my expression. I paint too but my paints are at my mums house which I miss way too much. So its not always going to be an awesome year but just remember there are those good days and thats what you live for, they make up for the rest. Don't be swallowed by the pit but reach out. If you have triggers, know them. My trigger happened last night. I apologised this morning, wasn't enough. but now I feel calmer after writing it all out. I needed to tell someone so I told you, anyone who reads this. I don't expect you to understand, but if you do, I feel for you.

Love as much as you breathe xx

It's the simple things in life that count!

I have had a lot of trouble in the past with men and because of that I never believe when someone tells me that they love me. How could they possibly? Right? Wrong.

One thing is that he actually says it without me saying it. But so can any other person. Its the simple things you have to look out for:

Like when they call you up at 6.25 am after your alarm has gone off at 6.20 to make sure that you are awake and don't miss work.

Like when they clean the disgustingly gross microwave that their housemates had left dirty, so you could heat up your cheese melt, doing so without complaining.

Like when they wear the dogtags you bought them, even if they have a corny quote that only he will understand, even when you didn't expect him too.

Like when he comes (inviting himself) to a memorial service for the 1 year that your aunty passed away even though he hates churches and feels uncomfortable with the whole concept but just wants to support you.

Like when he is napping but you need help to film a couple of shots and he gets up without complaining.

Like when you're on your period, it doesn't matter he still wants to cuddle up to you.

Like when you're in the shittest mood and all he wants do is make you laugh, and makes sure that you do!

Like when he apologises when he knows he is in the wrong and doesn't make it out to be my fault or that I am thinking crazy.

Like when he tells you that he has been thinking about you all day.

Like when he shows you a song and says that it reminds him of you.

Like when he watches a movie when you're away for a while only because one of the characters remind him of you.

Like when he wants you to leave the room so he can practice a song on guitar to play for you.

and I could keep on going, but its in these actions no matter how small they are, each spells 'I love you'.

I've wanted to write this post up for a while now, but its just in the past couple of days that I realised my man is legit, what he says is the real deal and I should really start trusting in him. That is a huge task, but to move forward is to move past fear. 'To be fearless, is not to have no fear but to have fear and still jump'.

Anyway love you all xx

Its Tuesday!

You all should know how much I loooooove Tuesdays. Call me crazy but I just gotta say that Tuesday's are the best day of the week. Do you know why? Because they are always reliable.

Sure I look forward to Friday because its the weekend! Who doesn't love that but I've noticed that I always get disappointed with my Friday nights because there is just soooo much expectation to have a great Friday and to make most of the weekend so you have something to talk about when you get back to work.

But Tuesday's they are sure to be a what they are, an average weekday, rehearsals at night and quiet me time. I don't get bothered on Tuesday's its just my day. Sometimes I switch it up and my boyfriend sleeps over but usually Tuesday's are all mine. It doesn't lie.

Also I noticed that every time I go to the toilet I always use the same cubicle, does anyone else do that? Humans have these habits that we have made that cubicle in this instance ours. If someone else is using it whilst we are in need and have to use another cubicle it just doesn't feel right. Like when you were kids and you had to sit on the same side of the car every time or the seat at the table that has your name on it but doesn't.

I know random tangent but deal (:

Have a lovely Tuesday!

Nothing hits you on the head quite like a good quote.

Let's marvel over this quote shall we?

I came across it today and it is one of the most genuine things I have read in quite a while.  It resounds truth.

Think about it: If you are wondering whether you can do something or are able to do something either that be physically or mentally or both, you have a 50/50 chance. The answer could be yes or no.  BUT if you decide that you can't do something, and you don't even attempt to go for what you really want, the answer will ALWAYS be NO. If you do attempt to and give it a real shot, not some half-hearted bullshit, not some lazy attempt but really go for it, put your mind, heart, passion and soul into it, 99 percent of the time you will succeed but lets say you don't...what have you lost? Nothing, You're the same person you would be if you hadn't tried except you would have gained a whole bunch of experience and you know how to improve next time. You can re-evaluate the situation. Without failure there is no success because through failure you learn. If you succeed without being knocked down at least once, you are so lucky but at the same time you will lack character.

That is my opinion.

I recently got back into the acting game. The film and stage business. I wasn't getting anywhere with it before because I wasn't actively pursuing which goes to show what I said in the aformentioned to be true. Yesterday I had a promotional photoshoot for the play that I am in and it was in the moment that we were talking about funding and how to market our project that I realised I am finally a part of something because I didn't back out of that audition and gave it my all. The reason I am here rather than someone else is because I put in more than 100% in my audition and strived for it. And now I am in my first paying role.

I'm quite excited.

So my advice is, give it a go and you'll never know what may come of it. Good Luck (:

GoKart Slowcarts

Something about Tuesday's

I don't know about you but I feel like Tuesday's are the best day of the working week.
Why?...Is there such a thing as the best day.
Well when you're a reception and stuck in an office all day then yeah you scrounge for certain terminology.
But I believe Tuesday's are. Why? I am more productive on this day than any other. Sure I try on the others but its Tuesday's that just put a bit of spice in my step!

Here is my logic...
Monday: You are still recovering from the weekend, it is like you are weening yourself out of holiday mode, so you're a little more slow and getting used to the pace.

Tuesday: You are in full gear, its still early in the week to think the weekend is a while away so you are definitely in work mode. You are punching those obstacles, making those calls, precise, concise...and i don't know a cool third rhyming word. (but hey i just rhymed right there ;) )

Wednesday: hump day, middle of the week, you are aware the weekend is nigh. Everyone by this point is making plans for it, getting excited for it. You lose focus.

Thursday: The weekend is even closer and you are getting over the early starts and workload.

Friday: There is no point. No return, may as well be the weekend as nobody does anything productive after lunch time.

Through observation, its just how I see it, unless you are in a job which you love and provides an escape for you, then this is the reality.

Trust me, I'm not the only one that thinks this in my office.

;)

Keep smiling xx

Oh nat...

I honestly thought I had lost this blog.
I've kind of been going crazy thinking that they, whoever they are, took my blog away from me!

But it has been right under my nose this whole time. Like everything!. I usually think it is the most complex of matters that I'd have to go to a higher authority to get my blog back but it was my mistake...I logged into the wrong account.

Soooo what have I been up to in the last few days.

I have vlogged and that will be up tonight (:
I have got other video ideas too. Which I'm super excited about. My non boyfriend calls himself my boyfriend. I dont' think anything of it. We are partners anyway so there is no difference with that label. My room mate came back from her holiday. I am now performing in jazz, lyrical, tap, musical theatre and hip hop...yeah ive never tapped before and that was mighty hard.

I'm feeling a lot stronger. Been feeling weak and not myself but I'm on a much healthier diet now, cutting chocolate out for most of the week, eating my salads etc. Honestly a healthier diet legit makes my mood much healthier also. Good motivation? I think so!

My weight..idk...i don't really care, as long as I'm looking and feeling good the number on the scale is meaningless.

Hmmm...anything else happened? Oh I don't know...let me think...oh yeah! I got a part in a paying theatre production! So I can actually call myself a working actor.

It is for the Melbourne Fringe Festival and I will probably vlog about it at one point or another so yay! I found out I had an audition on Saturday for Sunday. So 24 hours to delve into a character and produce a monologue. Yeah it wasn't easy but I loved the challenge. Got to my audition feeling nervous but confident in my talent and the characters I chose to be. My monologue showed my intensity, maturity and compelling in my performance...their words not mine. I'm not that big-headed. My sense of the character that I was actually going for was well thought out and had real knowledge behind it. Showed them I had prepared...also Year 12 Literature skills helped with that. Thanks Miss!


So I have my first rehearsal tonight. They have been rehearsing for weeks, so I will be the new kid in school.  I'm excited but nervous too. The character itself is really in depth even though majority is in one scene but a lot happens, not sure if I want my parents to watch this one haha...but hey I'm an adult now and I'm trying to show that via taking on complex characters, challenging myself and showing the audience that I got what it takes.

But I shall blog about my experience tomorrow. (:

ATM im trying to gain my motivation to just live, and I think performing and training in my passions will help with this.

I'm so glad to have this blog back you have no idea. My outlet. I desperately want to post on my social media about other things but mostly are tumblr related and I have this thing where yeah I would like to post but then again do I really want people to know the real feelings I have? I'm not too sure.

Anyway keep smiling xx

That was a very bleak post I made previously. Sorry if that bummed everyones mood out. Should I really be saying sorry for telling the truth? I don't know. But I just did, can't take it back now. That shit don't fly with me.

You can't take anything back really. An apology is an apology, true but everyone will remember what your said or what you did. Actions are much more significant than words. So remember that before you say or do something think of the impact it will have here on after.

I don't really know why I went on that tangent I was actually going to right about what I am feeling right now. The air is soft, matching the light in my bedroom.  I don't really know if you can feel light, if you can understand it. But it just reminds me of moving my hand through water except the consistency is less heavy - it flows. I feel like I am floating when I am surrounded by a soft natural light.

Match it with the white of my cover sheets, my messy strewn hair from last nights dance concert and the man that I love laying down beside me. I think it is kind of perfect. Flawed but perfect.

It's one of those moments that it feels just right. One of those simple moments you hold on to. One of those moments that you rarely recognise as being significant until it is gone. Because once they are gone, you want them back...badly.

So maybe what I am trying to say here, in my incoherent style, sometimes just sink into a moment, let it touch you, feel it, play with it, acknowledge it, be in it. Because trust me you will appreciate things a lot more and you won't feel like you have taken things for granted.

Keep in touch, keep smiling xxx

I don't want

No he isn't my boyfriend.
Not anymore at least.
Why?
Because he loved me too much to see me get hurt in the end when he has to leave.
You know what, I'm going to hurt just as much anyway. We can never be just friends. We aren't just friends now. Everyone still thinks we are together, its just for his peace of mind that we aren't.

It is going to hurt either way, I have danced in the memories, I have held the moments. Last night was so simple but yet so beautiful. Thats what this post is about, when you got that person that you love and is your best friend, nothing is ever boring.

He made me dinner. Like he actually cooked a healthy, satisfying meal. Then we laid down on the bed and in his arms I fell asleep as he read to me.

I am so lucky to have him love me. I just wanted that moment to last forever, freeze time, don't let them take him away from me. Because he is my best friend, my lover and my rock. How can something so right, something that works in all the right ways even when hit with massive obstacles, how can that be taken away. It's meant to be yet its apparently not according to fate.

If he goes, I honestly don't know who could replace him - yes he is a pain in the ass sometimes but he is right, he is true, he is him. Thats all I want, those simple moments for the rest of my life and I'll be content.

August is coming up so fast and I really don't want to deal with the reality of it all.
He will leave, he will move on. Just like he did with some of the others.

But my birthday just past and I used those wishes selfishly. 11.11 passes and I use those wishes selfishly.

Why?

I don't want him to be the one I secretly tell my daughter one day. The man I loved and lost. The one and only. The one that I was inevitably going to date whether I knew it or not. I don't want him to be on my mind whilst I'm trying to sleep next to my husband. I don't want him to be the one that I think of - wondering if he is doing the exact same thing as me.

I don't want him to be the one that got away.

Birthday revelations

Hip Hip Hooray!
It was my 21st Birthday!
Yesterday.

Look at that rhyme, let's appreciate the lack of effort I put into that.

So yes. It was my birthday. I am 21. Officially an adult in every country now - didn't even realise until somebody had mentioned it - clearly I thought that was a big deal...lol. What did I do on my 21st birthday someone might ask?

Well, I ate cake and other yummies, got beautiful flowers from work, was made a big deal of, felt special as family and friends congratulated me on getting a year older - yes guys, its true I didn't have to do much to turn a year older, all it took was breathing. Fair effort I say. I also had some family over to celebrate with me.

That is what I would tell anyone who asked.

What did I really do?

I cried.

I was holding it in so much the entire day, plastered that smile like you wouldn't believe, took calls in a cheery voice, but then I broke down on the way home and cried. Not just tears either, oh no, the works.

For anyone who isn't aware - I don't cry. Ever.

Why did you cry? What possibly could be that bad on your birthday when it is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life.

To be honest I think the whole pressure of everything apparently having to go perfect on the day had a lot to do with it. Usually I'm nonchalant, whatever happens happens, shit happens kinda gal, no use caring about it. But everyone making a big deal out of one day brought up my expectations of how the day was supposed to go. Why did I cry? It was because it didn't.

I was told on the one day that I turn 21 (the big one) that the one person that I really wanted to be by my side through the embarrassment and over the top cheeriness couldn't attend. He had personal business to attend which couldn't wait another day. Me, I know I would have worked things around and when that wasn't done for me, well things sort of crumbled. Perspectives crashed and yeah it sort of ruined my day. Did I fight back? For once in my life I did. Did it work? No, it was never supposed to but then it made me look like a spoilt child who didn't get what they wanted. I am not that. What felt worse was the people who knew about it, they didn't seem to think it was a big deal. Making me feel like I was acting ridiculous and when I act ridiculous or feel like I am, I distance myself because thats one thing I hate - to look crazy, or clingy. Give the guy space (is something I live by).

In the end, was it his fault that my day was ruined - no. It was entirely mine. Because yes I love him more than words can say but he is one person that loves me, if last night was anything to learn by - there were a lot more people that were there and that love me too. I should have been grateful for that. This is what I have learned. You decide on your mood, its entirely your choice to view your perspective. People love me. That is more than I could want. They were there, they made my night pretty awesome. My cousins and I played riddles, we ate, we laughed, we conquered.

Did I want to sleep alone last night? On my birthday? No of course not. But it was a reality check - where the fuck did my independence go. I am a strong woman, I have a great mindset, I can do what I want when I put my mind to it. Did I really need him last night? I thought I did. But I didn't. I just wanted things to go the way I wanted. When it doesn't, don't disregard the whole picture find the things and focus on what is right.

He makes everyday my birthday if that makes sense. Sure its a milestone but its just a day.

That is what I learned and what I am living by now. Sure try fight for it if it really means that much to you, if that doesn't work though, don't let that spoil everything else. Trust me, it will turn out better than you expect (:

Catch up

Hey guys,

I know it feels like years since I've blogged. It's crazy but I have had the real urge to blog recently.
The truth is, it seems I always start off something with a real passion and then it sort of dies. I'm not quite sure if that is because what I deal with or if it is just me. And I know that after a while I start whatever it was back up again. Isn't that the point though? To never give up. To keep trying?

I'm not quite sure. Maybe I am just indecisive or get bored easily - that is what I blame it on anyway.

As you may or may not know, I vlog a lot. I put a video out at least once a week and I'd like to be spitting out more but for now the no pressure thing is working. I love vlogging, I do, I feel like I can connect with more people but there is something about blogging. Its more for me and my use. It is a great accomplishment for me to articulate everything I want to say in a concise manner.

I also just love to read back on old blog posts, check out my view and opinions on things. Noticed some have changed and some have stayed the same. Yes, vlogging is about having your say but usually they are themed and you tend to try to make it interesting for a viewer and yet I feel blogging is where you can just put a lot of random shit on a page and that is completely fine.

This is why, this time I am going to separate them. I may post that I have put up a vlog - ya know publicity and shizzangles. But for the most part I am going to keep the two mediums separate. They deserve that. My blog deserves its own identity.

Its still here to hopefully make people smile but I honestly it is here to make me smile and to make me feel good 365 day a year. Everybody needs to be a little selfish sometimes.

Speaking of that. My favorite quote used to be from the famous Mr Einstein 'a life lived for others is a life worth living'. As I've grown up I have realised yes be that as it may, its not worth living if you're not actually living. Be kind, be considerate, help others even when you think you can't. Be the support you want others to be. I know I am and I don't care if that sounds like I am bragging but I know I am a bloody good friend. But the trap that I have fallen into in the past is that I was helping people so much so that I wasn't living my life. My life really didn't mean much whatsoever and that is totally wrong. You have one life. Live it to its potential. Give it credit, it deserves to bloom. You have to take care of yourself in order to take care of others. To be honest I still fall in that trap but I realise it and that is the first step towards change.

I haven't changed my morals, I still help but I also take me time, so that at the end of the week I'm not a giant mess trying to untangle my problems that were not tended too. Because if you're not looking out for yourself can you really rely on someone else to be doing that for you?

Keep smiling guys (:

Shopping: My Nightmare

So i went shopping to find my 21st birthday dress I'd wear on the night. Anyone who knows me would know that that task would have been one of the most dreadful tasks I could have been doing. In other words, I hate shopping...this is why.