Like Breathing Air

Hey there!
Just finished another shoot, was not as hectic although it felt like all the disasters that could happen, did happen.
My car for one has this dent and a few scratches from me misjudging the area to turn into. And then the guard underneath the car kind of fell apart because of someone who was not I tried to reverse it over a mound. Then there was hail the next day, a huggge hail storm it was quite beautiful, the next day was unusually smooth.
This post is about things happening for a reason.
I was in my car the other day and I had stopped at a stop light like every good driver would do. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and it felt like Spring. I was drifting my attention to this tree and I realised that that tree's purpose is to give out oxygen for us to live, to be a home for animals etc. Then I realised I guess everything has a purpose. For instance the aforementioned.  I realised if I didn't listen to people about driving forward at that angle and listened to my guard it wouldn't have happened, i realised that telling the truth to the parentals about it they ended up  not caring or being angry, that if it hails one day it will be sure to shine again the next, patience  is the key. Taking each step as it comes.
I went further into thinking about purposes, for instance people in your life, 'you are the choices you make' everything comes with a purpose. A person may be there to make you realise something about yourself or society itself, a person may be there in a time when you're in need. Life is a great mystery but it is a great learning curve in itself.
I laugh at the fact my life feels like a musical whenever I'm thinking of something a particular song comes on and it feels so right to be the backing track of the scene. It is there to remind you of something. To make you feel something. I don't believe in coincidence. That is just me.
The people you are friends with are there for a purpose. The people who stay still have their purpose to keep fulfilling or to fulfil.
It is only when you mess with this that things don't go smoothly.  When you take a friend out of the equation that wasn't meant to be and you doing it for the wrong reasons even though you think it is the right thing, this is when things don't go the way you once had thought.  Their purpose is still there.

My piece of advice? I know you didn't ask for it. Let it all be, let it all take its natural course and if someone is being shit to you and you do ignore them then it should feel right. If it feels wrong it most likely is wrong especially after a month. Go with your gut. If you care, you are caring for a reason and I personally don't think you should fight yourself about that even if you think caring for someone particular is stupid.

Man I think I just realised a few things for myself. Thanks guys! I'm such an idiot hahaha and hasn't seen what is right in front of me and has been blaring at me for three weeks.

Standing Upright

So...how are you all? *waits for reply*
...*crickets*
Yeahhh worth a shot. So yesterday and the day before I have been on set. I'm a film student to all who do not know. My role yesterday was to be a Second AD and the best part was connecting and talking with all the extras who I am supposed to be in charge of. I had chosen them from a website called Star Now and I must admit they were the loveliest bunch of people to work with. I'm usually First AD so Second AD was new territory for me but I soon realised that I am actually good at socialising. Whatta a skill you say? I KNOW!! I've always been shy with new people but I realised that I do have some of my dad's qualities; he can talk to anyone, and soon a stranger becomes a friend. I was also surprised how out there I was. It felt good to be genuine around people because they then see that you won't judge them. The other greatest part, especially last night was the weather.
The weather was absolutely calming. It didn't get cold, it was so comfortable and reminded me of a nice Summer night when my mates would take me for drives before I got my P's. It had that sweet smell in the air. It was great!
Unlike today...
Today is as gloomy as the dead of winter. I honestly don't mind Winter but I have been likening to this Spring weather, so to take a step back so suddenly was annoying. Also when you are in a bad mood the gloomy weather doesn't help. So I sat there and I thought what should I do.  I knew I wasn't in the mood to actually watch TV all day. I wanted to have a smile on my face and feel like I hadn't wasted the day. Instead I thought I'd exercise a bit. I had the time. As I was doing it since I haven't in a while I started feeling healthier, I had a healthy breakfast and lunch so I was feeling good about myself. They don't lie; endorphins are a great asset to have especially on days like this.
As mentioned in earlier posts I am getting over someone, and people out there I think it is safe to say everybody has been in this situation. Well that person called and it took all my effort to just let it ring. They called three times on Tuesday and once today so far. I was questioning my motive behind the cold front which wasn't good at all and I nearly called back but the restraint reminded me of the strong will power I used to have and being able to stick to my morals and values, well that just made my day a whole lot better. Although it hurt for that brief ten minutes, it was rewarding as the day progressed.
Be around those people who make you happy, and although he did, when I wasn't I was not happy and that my friends is not healthy!
Anyway enough for today. I hope everybody is having a great time, keep smiling because you deserve it.

Happiness is a CHOICE

So..I was in such a shit mood today, I forgot my good luck charm, I slept in...had to get up at 5am for a shoot and well the shoot was more stressful than it should be, me running around doing jobs that weren't mine.
Then of course when I got home I was gonna go onto my other blog, to blog about heartbreak and that even though it hurts, no matter how much it hurts, if it is good for you in the long run, it will be worth it and you won't have to feel that again from that person.
Then something happened: My friends Daniel and Lidija channel, they do videos to make people happy and it is called ThisWeekWe... https://www.facebook.com/pages/Thisweekwe/334950059983717  (The link). http://www.youtube.com/user/ThisWeekWe (Youtube link) Every week they make a video about something and the aim no matter how silly the content is to make people smile. If it weren't for their videos I would have been writing a depressing poem right about now and listening to sad ballads.
You know what I learnt, 'HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE'. It is a quote from  Daniel's inspiration, Shay, who has a youtube channel and blog every day. I like this quote also because it is so true. I chose  to be happy, I could have bathed in my own bleakness or I could try and be happy.
It goes hand in hand with my previous blog entry. If you want it, go get it and nobody is stopping you but you. It also has inspired me to get my youtube channel to keep going. I don't think I am that funny or am a good singer or have good advice but I try to give some sort of entertainment for people, my friends brought me that, sometimes you just need it. In return I knew they would get far with this because in the end it is a great cause. Who doesn't want to make someone else feel good? And you know what, without knowing it until told I made their day also.  It only takes a person to believe in the other because everybody wants to feel like they have a value.

I'm not sure if this made sense at all! But that is all I got for now. Short and sweet and probably not to the point  :p

SHOUT OUT TO LIDIJA MY TWIN AND DANIEL MY '"OLDER" BROTHER'

Turning a New Leaf

I'm back. I bet you don't believe me because I go away for so long. I bet you think that I don't hold to my word very much and you know what lately I've had a hard time doing just that.
Lately, I've just let it pass. I get angry and I get over it. That may be all good and well but if you are not giving yourself any self value you would probably stand up for yourself more. I feel like an elastic band that has been stretched way to much that I'm on the verge of snapping. This year has had its highs and lows but I think it just needs a new take on things.
I've had so much time to think lately and I knew I could never be truly happy when things were manifesting in my life that would drag me down and like any tumor you cut it out. The only way to get better. I realised that is what I have to do. Sure it will be painful and I know that, I've tried before. But all cuts will heal, no matter how deep they go.
Best way to let go of someone:
1. change their name to 'Do Not Answer' in your contacts (or delete them)
2. All your diaries put in a box somewhere you won't want to go back to
3.With all the photos put in a folder that says DO NOT OPEN
4. Ignore all contact.

Sure you are probably thinking why don't you just chuck it all out, but then you are chucking out a piece of yourself...I reckon take the lessons you learn and ditch the shit that came along with them.

I'm turning a new leaf, ripe and ready for Summer. Starting the blog again, is going to be a commitment which I will try harder to keep. I have my real friends and I've ditched everyone else. I have my family and I have my car to go anywhere and everywhere and most importantly I have my old self back.

It is good to be back!

Day 16

There can be no rainbow,
without a little rain.

Hi guys, I haven't blogged in what feels like forever. It seemed like winter had come not only literally but metaphorically. I was a little naive to believe that Summer can stay all year round, because Summer dries up in the end if there is no rain. Everything would be out of balance. We need a winter to realise how much we missed Summer. We need that sleet/rain/hail to appreciate those beautiful sunny days. So I do apologise for not blogging, so effectively as this is 365 days of Summer WE are up to Day 16. Some of you may say that I failed in some way but I don't think so, after all the realisations and experiences I have come out a more sunnier person.
So I work in hospitality right, last night one of my work friends was telling me about this regular customer. She had judged this customer to be a rough, inconsiderate person and effectively she was, though my friend who is the most kindhearted person I know made it her mission to change that. She pushed aside that judgement and every time the customer came in my friend would smile and ask how her day is. This lead onto more conversation then the next time they were well acquainted with names and now its just a regular thing. You know what? That customer is such a lovely lady, she just needed to be assured we'd give her the same respect.
Smiles can go a long way, I find that if I smile at someone they will smile back, not only is it courtesy but when they do do it you are giving them a hit of endorphins which makes them subconsciously happy. Like a suns beams, it doesn't stop at the source, light bounces and just imagine how many people that lady would smile at because my friend started it, it would have reached so many others. We can make a difference, if you focus on one part and don't get overwhelmed by the whole. That is what I believe anyway.
I also believe people should give others a chance, no matter how young they are. I was giving icecream to two girls and a mother. One girl didn't know what she wanted though she kept asking for the white one (lemon). The mother was unsure she'd like it so she kept saying choose something you know. Then the other daughter, this sweet little thing said the most logical thing. 'Why doesn't she just taste it?' Both the mother and I looked from each other to her and we just thought why didn't we think that. Give people a chance, it will surprise you what you can figure out.
Right now these blogs are pretty one sided, if anyone does read this blog I'd love to hear from you. You can ask, or say anything even if it means this blog is crap, 'cause I assure you that is your opinion and I will respect that, though I guess I would ask for a polite justification.

Day 15

Through humour, 
you can soften the worst blows that life delivers,
And once you find laughter, 
no matter how painful your situation may be,
you can survive it
~Bill Cosby

Yes yesterday I spoke about laughter but I think it really needs another post to drill it into your heads. Today I was in the midst of so many stress heads, and deadlines that it was intense. TAFE today was really really intense. Not many people can just look back at it and laugh, that is what I did. When the computer seemed to fail on us, I laughed at the inconvenience and how ironically convenient it is to make us even less able to work. I laughed at how we were so organised then right on the last leg of the race everything goes to the shitter. I just laughed because it is easier to do that, there is no use crying over spilt milk as the saying goes. Seriously less of a mess and when you laugh, you look with another perspective, you see clearer than what you would if you were fuming angry like some were and are less overwhelmed which would make it to achieve your goals. When I laugh, everything seems so much more simpler than before. It's just that quick deep breath that relieves any sign of stress and that is my secret to not getting stressed.
I don't know, I didn't really stress before, I took Year 12 really well, small steps instead of overwhelming myself with the bigger picture and I ended up really fine. More than happy with my result and where I am at the moment.
A lot of laughter got me through it, sometimes it may be manic but the point is that you are manipulating your mind to believe you are really happy...and that in itself produces endorphins which in the end relax you and make you genuinely smile.
That is my teaching for tonight. Smile and Laugh more than usual because there is never enough of it.
Trust me :)

Day 14

A day without laughter

Is a day wasted

~Charlie Chaplin

What can I say about today? I laughed a heck of a lot. Why? Cause it was beautiful. The sun, the warmth of the wind. It was everything and more. I had a really good feeling too. I don't know what it was but as soon as class started and we were all talking, I was laughing at nearly everything. It was a little ridiculous but it was one of those days. Started from the train ride and ended with a goodnight to the rents.

I'm not sure what it was, my cheeks began to hurt at work from all the smiling as well. I didn't really care what I was laughing at but the fact I wasn't taking life seriously for a day was just fantastic. New motto: Just laugh it off. And to be honest that is what I do all of the time. I trip I laugh, I hurt myself I laugh. It makes everyone see that its okay to laugh, I honestly don't care if they laugh at me as long as they are laughing.

It is the best medicine and instantly makes you happy. I don't understand the chemistry but endorphins are going crazy and that is all I care about.

Next time you are stressed laugh.

Laugh like you don't care, cause I know you care but it just is so much easier.